Lawn care...I don't care!

The lawn hasn't been mowed in ages! I have good excuses tho....first it was a bike trip to visit with friends in Chattanooga, then right after I got back I twisted my ankle when I stepped down from my bathroom & had to sit with my foot up for two days before I could even think about walking more than a few feet at a time. Heck, I didn't even manage to make it down stairs to the computer, and couldn't drive my car with the clutch needing input from the damaged foot.
The following week I spent two days riding with some friends over at the Dragon in N. Carolina & East Tennessee, so what with getting ready to go & winding down afterwards a couple more days managed to slip away. Throw in a few sprinkles of rain & last week I helped a friend who is preparing to go full time RV'ing.....well, the household chores have just kind of taken a back burner lately.
But yesterday was decently cool & the weatherman promised rain for later in the day and since the back yard weeds were tall enough to provide cover for the deer population & the front yard had grass that could now hide a large dog that belongs to my neighbor. First I had to climb on the roof & drag about 100 pounds of leaves from the gutters since the last time it rained it looked like several versions of Niagra Falls & I wanted to run over the leaves instead of raking them up. When the heck did I become afraid of heights? I was hanging onto the shingles with a major case of butt-pucker, sure that my life was about to flash before my eyes as I crashed to the ground. I was lucky...this time. So finally I bit the bullet & started up the self propelled mower.
Self-propelled is nice if you have a level lawn, but my back yard is full of dips & on a severe partial slope which is why I don't take the ride-on up there much. It's just too scary! There are also some tree stumps cleverly hidden amongst the weeds, so it's a bit like playing a pinball machine....you're either bouncing off things, getting stuck in holes, only to be richocheted out in some uncontrolled direction when the power wheels hit bottom, or losing total control when the slope starts applying gravity to the mix. It was quite a workout for my bad knee & not completely healed ankle. I kept praying for it to rain so I could call it a day, but nooooo!
So now it's time for the front yard, yet another challenging slope with a few trees to dodge around, a rock lined ditch to not fall into & a ride-on mower that kills the engine if you attempt to back up with the blades running. I'm sure that is a safety factor of some kind, along with the kill switch that goes into action if your butt comes off the seat, but it can make things kind of awkward when you have no choice but to ride across the slope with your tushie hangin off the uphill side to keep the thing from rolling over on top of you.
My property is about 1 1/2 acres & about half of it is a bit heavily wooded, so that means lots of tree limbs & branches find their way to the ground. This translates into a choice of running over the small ones & deciding if that one right in front of you is small enough, or stopping the mower to get off & move the risky ones out of the way. My mower is a bit shy on the ammenities & luxuries....no cup holder, no automatic shifting & you have to operate 3 different levers plus a clutch to keep things moving. Maybe that explains the reluctance to keep climbing on & off to keep from running things over.
I usually just keep on plugging away & the sound of little branches being chopped up must make my neighbors think I have some kind of bush hog on a rampage. They should be sitting on top of it when this happens!
The real challenge this time was trying to keep the thing from sliding sideways in all that long grass. Not much of a problem once you get used to it, but the first few times around it can be pretty un-nerving when it slips down a foot while your butt is hanging off the uphill side!
It took me a bunch of hours to get the job done yesterday....had to keep running over large patches of places that wouldn't cooperate on the first pass....the penalty for letting it get so long is that the mower just kind of lays the grass down & the blades can't get a good whack at it. Then I had to keep running over the big piles of cut grass to mulch them up more so it didn't just lay there & kill whatever was under it.
It looks nice today when I sit on the front porch or look out the back window. But I have hives all over my hands & wrists....and they are the itchy kind! My knee is killing me & the sore ankle is threatening to swell up again. My back has also joined the list of ailments, I have a blister on my knuckle that defies any explanation of origin...and it's seems to be headed for infection. AND IT NEVER RAINED A DROP!! So now all that thatch is looking like 1000 bird's nests exploded all over the place. It's supposed to rain today & tomorrow but nothing yet. Is it tomorrow yet???