Where are the eggs?

On St Patrick's Day the local trio of Muscovy ducks deposited 11 eggs in a nest right next to one of my down spouts. Very cool, I thought, since I love to see the babies when they hatch.
Over the next several days the total swelled to 30! At first the two Momma ducks seemed to be paying very little attention to them & were hardly ever sitting on them, so I was wondering if I was going to end up with a pile of smelly eggs after a while.
Then one morning about a week later I came out and saw two of the eggs lying several feet away from the nest...one demolished and empty of contents, the other was cracked open and losing the filling on the ground. After that, the Momma's started sitting on the rest of the remaining eggs most of the time, although they would still get off, usually taking turns while one wandered off to the pond for a while.

In the mean time, my yard has turned into local wildlife central...spotting a wild rabbit a couple of times, and a snake skin of a decent size, followed the next day by seeing the black snake it probably came from, and he looked about 3 feet long, but not very thick. In other words I don't think he was large enough to be stealing rather large duck eggs! I never did see what might have gotten the first 2 eggs and after a few days even the shells had disappeared.

Most of the time when I go out to give some bread to the sitting Momma's I can still see a lot of eggs on the nest, but I noticed yesterday while they were standing a few feet from the nest, taking advantage of the shade, that one of the eggs in the nest was damaged, so I took a closer look. Now there are only 20 eggs in the nest! No sign of any shells anywhere around the yard, so it's a mystery to me where the other 8 went! Some folks around here have suggested that I harvest the eggs & eat them, but I'd rather not! Hope that isn't what is happening to them.

I read on line that this breed of duck has a 35 day gestation period, so I guess I'll find out later this month how many little ducklings have survived for me to be their honorary Granny. Then I just have to hope that the grouchy couple across the pond doesn't start killing them off like they did a couple of other batches that have hatched in the last couple of years!

Facebook

Well, I broke that habit several months ago. BUT now I've gotten back on there. Just about everything else I belong to now has a page there.....and if you don't have an account you can't enter any of the prize drawings! CRAP!!!
So I first went and deleted all the games an apps I used to play with...maybe that will keep me from spending more than 15 hours a day like I used to. The bad news is I had over 3000 friends from all those games and it's gonna take me hours to delete them all. Looks like I will be spending a lot of time there again until I get everything sorted out again. Guess I'll be there until tomorrow......uh.....is it tomorrow yet??

HIVES!!

NO, not beehives.....the fickin hives I get from using hair conditioners....among other things that manage to catch me by surprise. Like a lot of cleaning products, bleach, my own sweat (such fun being allergic to myself!) sometimes from nerves. I don't think I'm nervous, and I did just use hair conditioner a couple of days ago. It's the same one I've been using for months now, but it was the end of the bottle, so maybe it got its ingredients all mooshed together and they ganged up to attack me.

Anyway, I've been having a lot more reaction then usual and my hand is swollen up....itchy....painful...and just plain annoying as hell! Of course it had to be my right hand, so if anyone gets out of line and I need to make a fist to pop them one, I'm out of luck....sigh. Lucky for me, I use pretty much zero physical retaliation when something or someone gets my adrenalin pumping....all bark and very little bite.

So I've finally gone on another remedy hunt...gotta love Amazon.com...they have everything I've ever looked for. I should be getting this homeopathic remedy in just a couple of days, sure hope it works. Of course with my luck, the symptoms will probably have faded by then anyway.

But if this is an indication of a repeat of what happened with the hives when they first started in '03, then it won't go to waste!

EEEK! I'm Dead!!

Just got informed by email that I'm dead! What a shock, I thought I just had a small cold. I wonder if this means I don't have to pay any more bills??!! Maybe if I respond to this one the next email will say I've received a large inheritance and I can be "dead" in complete luxury. Since they are already "writhing" I think I should reply and confirm that I am dead! ROFLMAO

This is the email:

Re: Payment Notification:

We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died on a CAR accident. He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until we confirm this by not hearing from you after 7days.

Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without anymore stress, and without any further delays. All we need to confirm now is your been DEAD Or still Alive.

Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with him until we confirm if this is a reality OR not But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE" YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL.

May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.
Your Faitfully,
Mrs Farida Waziri

It's been forever....

OK, so I haven't blogged in a really loooong time. Things have changed a LOT since then.

I'm no longer in TN.....My previously mentioned panic attacks got worse, I turned hermit, still no job, no income & living off my credit cards (yeah, I know!) by August of '08 stuff was starting to get turned off....like the electric, cable and phone. I still had electric until just after my birthday on the 21st of September, but without the cable I started watching every vhs tape and every DVD I owned, but then the electric went too. So I had nothing to do but read until it got dark, then light up a lantern until it was time to go to bed.

Of course all the bills were past due, including the house payment. And it chooses to turn cold early. With no electric I can't run the heater even tho it is gas, but it has an electric blower. And my waterbed heater was no longer keeping that nice and toasty. So I resorted to dressing warm, sleeping on the couch under about 5 blankets and encouraging all the kitties to lay on me. I was very happy that I had that wood burner heater in the living room and put all that firewood that had just been rotting away to good use.
For refrigeration I bought ice every few days and kept my few remaining groceries in an ice chest.

Did I mention my cell phone was also turned off in September, so I had no outside world contact. Later I discovered that my son had tried to call me on my birthday and got the canned message that this account was no longer in service. He tried to make contact with anybody in the area to send them to check on me, but had no luck.

By the time November rolled around, I had no food except when my neighbor would come by and drop something off...about every other day or so...and enough for one small meal was it! My cats were actually hunting things to eat...they put a serious dent in the chipmunk population! But I could not bring myself to stop them since they were actually eating what they caught and not just playing for fun.

After a non successful attempt to dispatch the entire situation by sitting in my garage with all my cats and my parrot and the engine running on my car.....5 hours in there and all that happened to any of us was feeling pretty warm and slightly dizzy! I just don't understand how folks manage to die every so often from fumes leaking into there car or into their house from the garage. Guess it was just God's way of saying you DON'T get to take the easy way out!

Anyway, I finally broke down and used my neighbor's phone to call my son and tell him my situation. He said he would come up and get me....I could keep my bird, one of the cats and some small furniture pieces, but there was no room at his house for all my stuff. Soooo before his arrival I contacted an auction guy who said an auction was no good for my situation, but he sent me several people around to buy a lot of stuff. I used the money from that to get the electric turned back on and buy a throw away cell phone and caught up on the gas and water bills. Then I started packing up.

But first I had to choose which cat I was going to keep....kept Sarge, the Himalayan.....but took the latest stray who wasn't in the best of health to the local shelter. Found a local no kill lady to adopt the other 3 and turned them over to her....sobbing like a baby the entire time......they were my babies!

My son, his fiance and a friend of theirs arrived on the Friday night before Thanksgiving. On Saturday morning one of them went down to the store and got poster board, made Estate Sale signs and put them up down on the highway in a few places. I didn't know they had done this but suddenly people started showing up and within about 20 minutes there had to be 50 folks wandering all thru my house and all over my property! Nothing had prices on it...it was like a free for all with the kids hollering up and down the house and up from the garage....how much did I want for this or that. I was running back and forth all over the place selling stuff myself and giving them prices....but if I was busy, they just sold stuff for whatever the heck they figured they could get. The only 2 bad things from all that was a set of vases that I dearly loved and didn't want to sell at all got sold for about a dollar.....and my almost new Oreck vacuum cleaner that I paid almost $400 for got sold for $5......eek!

But we made a bunch of money, rented a truck and loaded my motorcycle and the stuff I was taking with me, and my son took off in that by Sunday afternoon, with his fiance and their friend following behind. I stayed and packed a few more thing in my car and attempted to get some sleep to leave in the morning for the drive back to SW Florida. But I woke up after maybe getting one whole hour of sleep, aching knees, and groggy headed. I put Sarge in his carrier on the back seat, put Woodstock in his small travel cage on the passenger seat and departed the house about 4AM for the supposed 13-14 hour trip.

It was about 35 degrees! I stopped to fill up the gas tank and it took me almost 15 minutes to be able to stand up...and I'd only been driving for about 30 minutes so far. The rest of the trip went the same way....every time I'd stop for gas or a potty break it would take me longer and longer to be able to stand up and walk. Guess all the running up and down the stairs and the hill had put the finishing touches on my already bad knees. So I didn't get to Cape Coral until almost 9pm. And it took almost a month before I could walk normally again.

More about living with my son Robert, his fiance Lexi, and their baby Riyah in the next blog. FUN........NOT!!!

Granny! Yikes!!

Well....it's happened again. My son just called me a little while ago to report the birth of my newest grand-daughter. He had called me a couple of weeks ago to report that his fiance was in labor, but got sent home since it was just Braxton-Hicks contractions. She wasn't due until April 16th anyway.

He called me earlier this week to say that she'd lost her plug, but nothing else was happening on the birth front. They had scheduled induced labor for next Monday, but I warned him they tried that on me when he was born and I ended up going into labor over the weekend, so be ready. So he calls me last night and says poor Lexie has been in labor for two days....back and forth to the hospital and doctor's office since she is only one finger dialated.....but she's been a screaming banshee and he's had no sleep. His boss, who seems to think the world revolves around the custom bus they're currently building, is giving him grief about taking time to run Lexie around. So last night she's finally having contractions about a minute apart and they're headin for the hospital and the boss wants to know if he can come to work today to make up some of the time he's missed......uh....NO! Guess he finally got a clue since he called later to say he understood and offered to pick them all up at the hospital in one of the limos when it was time to go home.

So after being in major labor all night long, Riyah arrived at 9:20 this morning (south Florida time) 8 pounds 7 ounces, 21 1/2 inches, strawberry blond hair, steel blue-grey eyes and already sucking down her first meal.

So, I'm a Granny again......Ah Spring!

Spring has sprung!

Okay, so I can finally admit that Spring is officially here now. Yeah, the trees & whatnot around the yard have been doing the flowering & leafy thing for a few weeks now, and the grass (weeds) have begun to grow again. The temps have been mild, growing warmer and it's rained quite a bit. I even saw a few deer wandering across the yard last week. I even opened the windows and turned off the switch for the gas heat, stopped wearing a sweat shirt and opted for the old baggy t-shirt instead.
But in my mind, yesterday's events really marked the beginning of Spring. It was a warm day & the weather babbling on tv was all about the approaching storms that they'd been going on about for two days already. It was a fairly narrow band of nasty looking thunderstorms showing on radar that stretched from Texas nearly up to the Great Lakes. They'd been saying this was going to start affecting Middle Tennessee by Thursday, but here it was, Friday afternoon and still not anything happening around here except for the wind picking up nicely.
I'm playing couch potato.....shuddup....watching one of the channels that never broadcasts anything but it's scheduled programs (no sudden announcements) and it's time for them to switch to the news, which happens to be for Chicago and I'm not much interested. So this is when I change to the area news for around here....well.....sort of around here but it's really for Nashville. I'm figuring to coast thru an hour of it before I change to some afternooon comedy stuff and it helps me avoid that stupid Tyra Banks that wastes air time from noon to one.
But the news is non-stop warnings about the storms that have finally started arriving and it's not good. Seems there are tornadoes predicted and at least one has already touched down near the Kentucky border. I watch the radar with all the fancy, new 3-D imaging which is supposed to be able to see the formations almost down to the ground.....but the weather folks seem fascinated with it, even though they don't completely have the hang of how to interpret it yet and keep switching back to the usual systems to see if what they're saying matches up.
Anyway, there are suddenly signs of tornadic activity about 50 miles southwest of where I live and heading northeast. Then the reports start coming in about damage to homes and buildings all along the path the storm cell is taking. Before too much longer the system seems to be approaching my county, but so far, no warnings are issued for us. Then that changes and one is called for here....a couple of minutes later the town warning sirens starts wailing, which I'd never be able to hear if I didn't happen to have a window open.
Mind you, it still hasn't rained a drop at my house and the winds keep picking up, then dying down completely. The non-stop chatter from the weather babblers keeps talking about egg-sized hail and winds of 100mph, so when it finally does start to rain here, I'm looking out the windows to see if there is any hail....but I got nothing. Now the warning from tv is saying the arrival time for here is 2pm...and this tidy bit of info is given at 1:57 but I've already seen some flashes of lightning and the UPS for my computer has beeped several times from the power surges and the cable has gone off and on twice.
Now they are suddenly talking about damage to an area about 5 miles west and just slightly north of my house and that a possible tornado is passing by. I'm ready to head for my bathroom in the basement, but all of sudden there is nothing.....no rain, no wind, even the sky seems less cloudy. Yep...you guessed it....passed me right on by a few miles to the north.
It rained pretty hard a few more times and one more warning for this county was issued but got cancelled in about 5 minutes when the swirling formations to the south just fell apart and zipped off to the east without getting any closer.
I opened the window again, went out on the front porch to look for any trees blown over, but the only thing I saw was one fairly small limb down on the driveway by my neighbor's house.
So I settle into one of the rockers on the porch for a while....just watching the wind pick up a little every so often and an occasional bit of rain, one of the cats snuggled on my lap. First time this year I've sat down out there. The birds are singing and I spot a little movement off by the power line....it's a blue bird! Then a couple minutes later a hummingbird shows up at one of their feeders....of course they are all empty and nasty from hanging there all this past fall and winter....so I get rewarded with what I can only assume is a nasty look and he zooms off. Being the sucker I am, I got up and took one of the feeders inside to clean it up and go thru the mixing up of sugar water routine and hang it back up. Several minutes later the hummer is back but gets chased off by another one. One of them came back later, but didn't seem like he was finding the one feeder I'd fixed up.....but I'm not getting sucked in like I did last year. That time I cleaned and filled all six of them but only saw one hummer for the next three months and ended up having to go thru it again when the rest of the flock finally started showing up in July. I wonder if seeing the first one this early is some kind of record.
But now Spring is here....first tornado, first hummingbird, first bluebird and first day sitting on the porch....all in the same day. Of course, the prediction for Sunday is a low overnight of 34 degrees....go figure!

My Brain won't work

So I'm cheating & taking the advice of another blogger....now ya get to read a bunch of stuff about me you probably don't really wanna know anyhow!

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? A jacket, gloves, window scraper,the tiny little phone book from this county,at least two bar towels,an old waitress apron,a bunch of coupon fliers that are probably out of date....and more stuff, but it's cold & snowy so I'm not gonna go look.
2. When was the last time you threw up? All day from the afternoon of the 9th to the 10th of this month.
3. What's your favorite curse word? Fucketh Thee!
4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Nobody so far!
5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Finishing up my shower to go out.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Playing hearts on Pogo.com
7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Probably letting the cats in or out
8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah, they got nothin I wanna see bad enough to pay for
9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Hello
10. What is the best ice cream flavor? It's a toss up between Ben & Jerry's pistachio & butter pecan
11. What was the last thing you had to drink? tap water
12. What are you wearing right now? sweat pants, sweat shirt & fleece booties
13. What was the last thing you ate? some tater tots from Sonic
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope!
15. When was the last time you ran? If distance doesn't count, then last month when the water pipe broke.
16. What's the last sporting event you watched???? Skiing on TV this weekend, but in person I can't even remember!
18. Who is the last person you emailed? forwarded one to my brother
19. Ever go camping? Yes, a bunch of times, but not in over a year & I'm having withdrawal pains!
20. Do you have a tan? Does the little strip on my neck count??
24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? I hardly drink soda & it depends on how it was served to me
25. What did your last IM say? I don't do IM
26. Are you someone's best friend? Beats the heck outta me!
27. What are you doing tomorrow? I have no idea, but as little as possible!
28. Where is your mom right now? I don't know....it's not my turn to watch her!
29. Look to your left, what do you see? The poor tattered wall hanging my Mom made for me announcing the birth of my son...in 1970 fer cryin out loud!
30. What color is your watch? Which one?
31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ? Koala's, kangaroo's & aboriginies
32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Yep, if somebody else was paying for it!
33. What is your birthstone? sapphire
4. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Mostly the drive thru, if I wanted to eat inside I wouldn't be at a fast food joint!
35.How many kids do you want? Just the one did it for me, thanks!
36. Do you have a dog? not really, but there is a stray that's been hanging around here for about 3 weeks....maybe I should quit feeding her!
37. Last person you talked to on the phone? The recorded message that says "this is a very important call for you" at which point I hung...if it's so damn important, then don't send me a recording!
38. Have you met anyone famous? Yep, many, best known were probably Liz Taylor, Richard Burton, Cher, Englebert Humperdink, Kenny Rodgers, Burt Reynolds, Don Shula & most of the Dolphins from the dream team, several golf pro's, Jeb Bush, Johnny Cash, June Carter-Cash, and briefly John F Kennedy before he was elected. There's more, but my brain is having a fart right now!
39. Any plans today? This was the first day in weeks that I actually got some errands run.
40. How many states have you lived in? Just two, but I was living when I went thru a bunch...does that count?
41. Ever go to college? Only for some training classes
42. Where are you right now? Home, in front of the computer....again.....sigh
43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? ME!
44. Last song listened to? Whatever they were singing on American Idol last night.
45. Are you allergic to anything? mangoes, hair conditioner & a whole list of things I don't even know but gives me the hives!
47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?Crocs
48. Are you jealous of anyone? Everyone!
50. Is anyone jealous of you? Probably somebody somewhere, but nobody I know!
51. What time is it? Time for me to fix some dinner!
52. Do any of your friends have children? Yep.
53. Do you eat healthy? Sometimes, but then I indulge myself for being good....ya think that might be counter-productive???
54. What do you usually do during the day? Dodge the kitties.
55. Do you hate anyone right now? Nope, takes too much energy.
56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Only if the phone rings.
58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? One year older than I am right now!
59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope
60. How did you get one of your scars? I have a really old scar from when I knelt on the stove burner as a kid...trying to get the cookie jar! You'd think that would put me off cookies, but you'd be wrong!

And I just noticed that question number 46 is missing....it must be upstairs eating my dinner!

Tennessee kitties

I have 5 cats. Yeah, I know....shuddup! Anyway, one of these cats I've had since I lived in Miami in '98, one I got as a kitten just before I moved here in '05. He's grown up here. The other 3 were born here & I got sucked into ownership....I said shuddup!
There's been some thunderstorms around here a few times lately & I'm used to dogs that freak out when it thunders. But I've never had cats go crazy in them before. Cats are supposed to be calm & nonchalant during these things unless they are getting directly rained on.....then it's acceptable to give a look of pure distain, amble into a sheltered spot & lick the few drops that managed to get up the nerve to land on them.
My Florida girl paid the thunder no mind this morning...continued to snore thru it. The Florida boy was sleeping on the stair rail & just gripped it a bit tighter...but his eyes did get a little wider & his ears were twitching.
So it's 4:45 in the frickin morning & I hear a loud clap of thunder, the sound of papers flying in the kitchen, the rattle of the metal burner covers on the stove, kittie nails scritching across surfaces & somebody's fur covered self goes flying across my hip & legs while I'm struggling into conciousness on the couch. My 3 born & bred Tennessee critters are having hysterics all over the place. One is dashing around the kitchen....he's the one I rescued from the diesel pumps at work & was probably born outside to one of the strays, you'd figure he had some street sense & you'd be wrong. The other 2 lived outside since birth until they were about 6 months old & their Momma had disappeared so I brought them in, and they were used to all kinds of weather.....but they seem to have gotten soft....really soft. Those 2 were hollering in the bathroom & one had been sleeping on my legs until that first clap hit....then he hit....my ass....on the way to the bathroom where his brother was already cowering in the garden tub.
Everybody's ears were twitching & twirling as the thunder continued. Every flash of lightening caused a mass bolt to secure an even better spot. BB (diesel kitty) decide the safest spot was out of the kitchen up under the covers with me & preferably up my ass......I said no, but it was a toss-up about who was going to win that particular battle for a few minutes. Topaz & Tiger (the experienced outdoor brothers) decided all the towels on the rack in the bathroom would be adequate protection, so they pulled them down & stood on them while they howled. Smokie (Florida girl) looked around, twitched her ears & went back to snoring by the front door. Sarge (Florida Boy)stretched on the stair rail, then decided to join the fun by teasing the 3 weather weenies......this consists of running back & forth between the front & back doors & apparently yowling that breakfast is ready so the others will all head for the kitchen......but I wasn't off the couch yet & it was about 2 hours until breakfast for them.....so now they're all voicing their unhappiness & each has individual ways to force me to get up. They've practiced these tecniques to perfection.....one slurps at the water fountain until it gets below the spot where I have to fill it or risk burning out the motor, another starts scratching on the burner covers to make me think she's just burying whatever she's just deposited there.....that's so I have to get up to clean up or catch her in the act hoping to re-train that bit of behavior. Another is downstairs playing with the ball-in-a-circle toy....a more annoying sound is yet to be developed...yet another is simply standing in the middle of the dining room table & yowling, and the final little hellion is engaged in making mincemeat out of the loveseat cover....a move that always makes me get up to fling something in his direction.
By now the thunder is down to a distant rumble every 10 minutes or so & even the two stray cats that will NEVER be coming in the house....SHUDDUP....but wait outside patiently every morning for their little handout, are standing where I can see them thru the window behind the parrot's cage.....and they are not being patient either.....one of them is spraying the damn window!
I held out for almost an hour.....but breakfast was early today. OH SHUDDUP!

Tornadoes???!!!

So if ya read my "about me" thingy then you know one of the reasons I moved out of Florida was to escape from the hurricanes. I knew there was the occasional nasty bit of Springtime weather to put up with here, but unless there is a repeat of the big ice storm that happened here a bunch of years ago, I figured I could handle the rest of Momma Nature's bits of whimsey.
The first thing I found out after arrival was that the local news stations treat a thunderstorm like the Apocolypse....I mean they just don't shut up their yaps for the entire time one is brewing....or has a chance of brewing....or is thinking about brewing anytime in the next 24 hours. Now this is pretty much over the top for somebody who lived in an area that had thunderstorms every single afternoon like clockwork all Summer, and any other time hot & cool air decided to mix it up. I could be mowing the lawn & watch storms a few blocks away...time it just right and finish up when the first few drops started to fall.
Another words...no big deal, just move yer tushie if you saw any lightening or heard thunder less than 7 or 8 miles away. Very rarely there might be a funnel cloud, but even if there was, little damage occured.
Now the news coverage for this stuff was a brief mention of the usual storms brewing & which side of the highway they were on. Not like for hurricanes which cause daaays of coverage with no real change of information from that given in the first half hour until the booger hits and destroys everything for miles.
Anyway, there's a lot of warnings here at the first drop of rain or heavy gust of wind....just like when the first few snowflakes start coming down. It's always made me wonder what these newsfolks would do if this was like South Florida every day....or like some more northern state where it really snows. I remember visiting our cabin in Pennsylvania during the winter back in the 70's.....it was nothing to finish the drive up by stopping to put chains on the tires & I would go for long walks in the woods while it was -12 degrees. Put an inch on the ground around here & they're closing the schools! I guess expecting parents & bus drivers to slow down for the conditions is no longer part of the equation....gotta protect the folks from themselves or they might sue the city for getting in an accident.

So yesterday I'm trying to watch some TV & getting constant interuptions from the weather broadcasters about a nasty thunderstorm that's beating it up from Alabama & Mississippi, trailing twisters in its' wake. Already done some serious damage in Memphis, beat the heck out of a little college and was headed straight for Nashville.
Now this really was a serious event, several people lost their lives, more were injured and many homes were completely destroyed. Nothing funny about any of it. The problem is the news coverage....the channel I watch because it has what seems to be the best (ok....the easiest for me to grasp!) radar images has a terrible tendency to vomit up information as soon as they get it....no matter where or from whom it comes. I don't think double checking is on their "to-do" list, so in the space of 30 minutes they will report all kinds of figures for damage, numbers of hurt, injured, missing. But they NEVER go back and clarify that the original info they reported was not correct. They are so in love with the sound of their own voices that they go on with barely a breath & you can hear the excitment bubbling over. This tends to panic people.
Panicked people tend to do the wrong thing and sit in front of the TV for the running status reports. They become numb. Then while this particular storm was passing right over the TV station itself, the broadcasters set the brilliant example of not taking cover....in fact, they are sending little news interns OUTSIDE in the hail to collect pieces of it to bring inside to show on camera.....where it doesn't show up at all since it's melting & white & lying on a white plate!
This happened to be the big election night.....not like I really give a ratz azz about it, but during all the storm coverage they ran an impossible to read bit of info across the bottom of the screen about 3 times. None of the storm's effects came anywhere near me, but I was ready if it did. It wasn't until 4:45 this morning that I experienced any influence from the weather & that was a loud clap of thunder that woke me from the sleep I'd finally started to get around 1AM, followed by some brisk winds, a quick downpour followed by some normal rain......none of this was more than briefly mentioned by the media. Now that thunder & lightening was right over my head & I kind of WANTED some info.....nothing! I resorted to tuning to the static feed on channel 1, which is a repeating radar map of this general area, the truly local forecast.....which is showing zero rain in the rain guage as usual even when it's been raining all bloomin day, and a national weather radar map.....all this accompanied by the less than soothing sounds of some radio broadcast which has nothing what-so-ever to do with the frickin weather!
Finally the broadcast stations get around to mentioning the weather is starting to calm down as it passes to the east.....but there are now tornado watches issued for my area, among others & they pretty much hand off any further developments off to the stations that broadcast out of the Knoxville area.....which is great, but MY NEWS COMES OUT OF THE NASHVILLE AREA!!
Well, all's well anyhow.....it was a non-event in my pretty secure spot. I happen to live in a small dip of a minor hill....surrounded on 3 sides by slightly higher areas and just a little down the hill is another hill. In other words.....I kind of live in the ditch they tell you to throw yourself into if you are out in the open and see a tornado coming. Three sides of my downstairs are surrounded by earth, the doors are all steel except for the one protected by 25 feet of deck and two of the rooms don't even have windows....the whole thing is solid cbs block & cement......I don't worry about a safe room. The upstairs is ground level on 3 sides, solid logs & only a few feet stick up above the hill. I've got lots of trees that could fall down, but only a few close enough to hit any part of the house if they went down....could happen, but not likely from they lay of things.
The thing that gets me about all of this is the wisdom or sheer dumb luck I had to move here because of hurricanes.....to end up where they have frickin tornadoes in the middle of winter, but find myself in a pretty well protected spot.....as long as there is no ice storm....well, I AM ON A DAMN HILL & ice makes getting down a steep driveway in a car with normal tires on it a bit of a challenge!! So far it hasn't even snowed enough to let me slide down the hill on a garbage can lid, let alone iced up the driveway.......just sayin......

Pay backs suck!

So after last weeks fortunate turn out of the water leak problem, I'm feeling pretty good. Looking forward to the possibility of a trip this next weekend down to a motorcycle show in Norcross, GA and seeing some friends I haven't visited with in a while. Depends on how the finances look, but it may just be do-able if I'm careful.
So I keep double checking my reservations & looking over the route, setting my AirSet calendar to remind me in case I have to cancel at the last minute. Things are lining up & it's looking good.
Friday I had a mystery shop at Sonic to do for breakfast.....I don't reccomend the Super Breakfast Burrito, it's weird & soggy....but I was hungry & hey, I get re-imbursed for the food, so what ever! Well, I didn't eat anything else all day & got the burns for a Pizza Hut pepperoni & I had a coupon for two mediums....so I call them up to make an order & hit the first little pay back.....it's gonna be at least 50 minutes 'cause they're so swamped. I'd hoped to pick it up & be home in time for 7PM prime time, but ok, I'll live. So I take off in time to be a little early & I think I'm lucky since they are already sitting in the warmer waiting for me when I get to the counter.....I should have paid attention to that! Anyway, I pay & zip back home, fling myself & the goodies in front of the TV & start munching. A couple slices of pepperoni & a couple of Hawaian and I'm already stuffed, so I do the usual & shut the boxes but don't put them in the fridge.....never have bothered before & haven't had a problem, even when I've left them sitting on top of the stove for a couple of days.
The next morning I scarf down a slice so I can take my vitamins.....lately it seems if I don't eat something first it's been upsetting my stomach other wise. Guess I'm getting old & the iron stomach is letting me down a bit.
The rest of the day gets spent in front of the computer with a break around 2PM to have some more of the pizza, but this time I heat it up in the microwave....still nothing different than I've done dozens of times. Around 5ish or so I start to feel not so great, a little warm, kind of a headache and a touch dizzy. I kind of ignore it for a while, but suddenly I'm dashing for the bathroom & barely make it in time the turn my insides out....to the amusement & confusion of the kitties, since I'm pretty much laying on the floor & they think I must be there to play with them.....trust me.....I didn't wanna play with ANYTHING!!
I get cleaned up & head back to the computer, but start feeling even worse, so I shut things off & go back upstairs & relax on the couch......for all of about 10 minutes....then it's another dash to not quite make it this time, but close enough for the 3rd & 4th episodes of attempting to get my toenails to crawl up thru my body & leap to their demise in the toilet bowl. Now my sides hurt, my head is throbbing & when I stand up it's a toss up as to just how long vertical is a managable task. Think your worst hangover ever....without the fun from the night before! And before I forget to mention it.....the 4th episode was accompanied with extreme diarreah. Wasn't bad enough already, right??!!
It's a difficult decision about where to toss my second set of nasty clothes and should I just now sit & use the plastic lined wicker basket for whatever is still left in my poor stomach.
After about 30 minutes I start to feel like I can get up now, so I make my way back to the couch....but I was wrong.....very wrong! I was back in there like a flash in 10 more minutes. Sometimes it's good to live alone.....I just stayed in clean underwear & a clean sweatshirt for the rest of the night! But I wasn't looking forward to doing the laundry!
Sooooo, I was now running a nasty little fever, shivering, head pounding & queasy. And every five or ten minutes I had to go sit in there again. Good thing the plumbing leak had been fixed, but I think I made up for not using up much space in the septic tank since I've moved here!
This little "party" went on most of the night, little sips of water that at least stayed down....if not "in!" All day Sunday it was the same....couldn't sneeze, cough, laugh or clench my stomach muscles to get off the couch without risking another pair of undies. I went thru 2 1/2 rolls of toilet tissue & my poor bottom was reacting with very little co-operation when it came to sitting down. Fortunately, I wasn't the LEAST bit hungry! After the fever went away & I didn't feel like it was mandatory to hug the basket every time I made a move, I risked a few sips of milk. I slept most of the day, but not well....fearing I'd dream about having to go to the bathroom & find out it wasn't a dream! By late in the evening, I was pretty exhausted and feeling weak.....I got on the scale & had lost 8 pounds in less than 48 hours! Nice....but I don't think this is a good diet method.
I spent all day Monday chained to the bathroom again, in spite of a bit of natural cure...eating a couple of slices of swiss cheese (slows down the internal plumbing, they say) but finally whatever "nasty" I'd given myself started to wear off. I ate some more cheese, a small bowl of cereal and by evening a bowl of soup. Total weight loss by this morning was 11 pounds.....but I probably ruined that when I had another Sonic mystery shop at lunch time & forced down a few bites of a burger & some fries....the only I could really finish was a strawberry smoothie. But while I'm not completly back to normal, at least I can cough without having to change my undies again!!
I should have known that the price for fixing the plumbing leak wasn't steep enough for my Karma! Had to pay back more with my own "plumbing" going haywire! I'm guessing I won't be in the mood for a pizza again for a good, long time.

If ya hold your mouth just right....

Life has been kinda less than wonderful lately. Still don't have a job, panic attacks happen if I even attempt to go someplace to fill out an application, and I have to force myself out of the house to go grocery shopping.
My son & his girlfriend were supposed to come for a visit this month, but after I'd nearly worked myself into the ground getting ready for their arrival, he called me the night before cancelling the trip. I was really looking forward to it.....partially because I haven't seen him since August of 2005, but also because he's so incredibly handy at fixing stuff around the house that need a little work.
One thing I was hoping for was a hookup for the battery on my motorcycle so I wouldn't have to take the seat off when it needs a charge. Yep...I am hopelessly challenged in that direction, but he could do the job in a matter of minutes.
Another little project was replacing the bolts that attach the water tank to the toilet downstairs. They've rusted almost away & if I were to lean on the tank it would probably let go of the base & I'd have a flood in a hurry. He's good with the plumbing stuff too.
But the biggest project showed itself about a week before he was due to arrive. I got my latest water bill in the mail & it had almost doubled! I don't use a lot of water, never have more than the minimum bill, so I was pretty surprised at seeing one for nearly $32. I called the water company to have the meter re-read, just thinking maybe somebody had transposed a number or something, but the guy came & told me it was right......but.....did I have any water running right now? I didn't...so he informs me the meter is running slowly & that most likely means it is leaking somewhere. OH JOY!! We turned the water off right at the house, went down & looked at the meter & it was still running. Conclusion being that the leak is between the meter & the house.....what fun! NOT!
See, my house is on a hill. It's about 300-400 feet from the meter to my house. No wet spots showing on the ground anywhere....hmmmm. Two choices....dig up the entire length until the leak is found, praying that this doesn't mean the pipes are getting old & this would just be a temporary fix until it sprung another leak a few months down the road. The other choice is just forget it & run an entire new line to make sure it won't become a problem later. The safest option is the second one for a major reason....turns out that the original line was run when my neighbor between the meter & my house was living in a mobile home. And it was run behind the trailer & straight up the hill. But now there is a regular house sitting there & it's on top of the pipe. But that means now a new line would have to run thru his driveway since going behind the house isn't an option.....what with it being backed right up flush with another part of the hill and all. Now my neighbor is a nice guy & probably wouldn't mind, but this project is starting to look pretty expensive to me. Getting a plumber, renting a ditch-witch, new pipes & fittings and repaving part of his driveway.....not how to start off the year's budget!

This is where the "holding your mouth just right" part comes in. Since my son's visit was cancelled, I knew I wouldn't be saving any money on a plumber by having him do the job so I was pretty much putting off doing anything until the next bill arrives....hoping that it wasn't much higher than the last one, meaning it was a pretty slow leak & would give me some time to figure out how I was gonna pay for this project. But the gods smiled on me today, in spite of the forecast for a downpour!
The previous owner of the house showed up as he does every now & then to see how the single city girl is getting along with life in a log cabin. He mentioned that he'd heard about the leak problem & we were standing on the deck yacking about solutions when my other neighbor (the Mom of the guy at the bottom of the hill) happens to be going down the drive past my house. She stops & hollers up at us that her son was coming out of his shed yesterday & noticed a big, wet mushy spot right in front of it & he's wondering if that's where my leak is. She meant to call me this morning about it, but got busy & nearly forgot....but since she saw us standing on the deck it jogged her memory.
So the old owner & I go down to take a look. He gets a shovel out of the shed & starts digging up the wet spot....nice & easy since it has fortunately warmed up enough for things not to be frozen like they were all last week. Of course, in spite of trying to be careful, he hits the pipe which cracks completely open & starts shooting water out in a big hurry. I mad dash it to the water meter, throw myself on the ground & pry open the cover.....stare at it for a couple of seconds while I can hear the dial & see the numbers just whizzing by....then remember how to turn the valve off....finally.
But happily, now the leak is located & once he does the bucket thing to get all that water out of the whole, we see that it's not gonna be a big deal to fix it. I call my usual handy man who happens to be off duty from his regular job as a fireman & is still right down town, about 15 minutes away. He comes by, looks at the situation, runs over to Lowes & gets a new section of pipe & the fitting joint thingy....bingo....repaired & I have water again....nasty looking, brown, sandy water, but once I run it for a few minutes all is back to normal. Which was really good, since I'd had to use the bathroom 3 times since I shut the meter off & didn't even have any drinking water......and ya know how thirsty ya get when suddenly there is none to drink!!
The best part of all this was that the pouring rain we were supposed to get starting early this morning held off until the job was all done.....AND.....the grand total (including the handyman coming back in a day or two just to double check & make sure everything is still ok, plus fix the bolts on the toilet downstairs) came to a more than reasonable $35!!!! Whew!!!!
Now the nightmare vision of it costing me anywhere from several hundred to a thousand has drifted off to hell....where it rightly belongs....and I can breath again. There is just that small, teeny, niggling thing floating in the dark recesses of my brain....reminding me that the entire pipe hasn't been replaced & another leak could rear its ugly head sometime down the road. But I refuse to listen to that for now!! Of course I haven't yet received the current water bill & it was leaking for a few weeks since the last one & the leak had obviously gotten severe enough to show itself nearly 3 feet up to the surface.....could be another little less than pleasant surprise.....but at least I will know to shut one eye before I look at it!! Maybe if I hold my mouth just right.......???????

Sick Saga

I don't do sick well at all. I have no patience for people who are sick & even less for myself when in that condition. It makes me grumpy & anti-social more than I normally am....if that's even possible. I find it particularly unfair that I started getting sick the morning of my birthday....and how do you catch something when you haven't been face to face with another human being for at least 10 days!?
The kitties think they're helping by making sure to lie on me every time I hold still....it's hard to get up quickly with three of them stacked on your lap like dead wood when those constant urges demand you leap to pay homage to the porcelain god. As I attempt to race for the bathroom before I end up depositing bodily fluids across the carpet, it becomes an obstacle course of cats who are almost comatose but manage to instinctively throw those claws a few inches into my skin...OUCH....get under my feet, race ahead of me & leap onto the toilet seat, knock over the glass of water on the sink, and engage in a war over the space on my lap as soon as I sit down. If, instead of it being a "sit down" emergency, I'm attempting to do some creative projectile art made from the contents of the morning's vitamin intake, I have to avoid the furry demon who thinks this is the perfect time to assist with the way my hair is arranged on my head.
And being ill with a fever of 101.1 for 3 days is in no way an acceptable excuse for failing to keep their breakfast served on time, the water fountain clean & full, or their two litter boxes scooped. I know this because of the little paws full of claws that still found a way past my drugged stupor at 6:30 in the morning, the lapping noises coming from the dishes in the sink I was too sick to wash, and the appearance of kittie pooh in forbidden places. ( YOU try navigating stairs down to the litter boxes when just sitting up causes your eyes to roll back in your head....NOT gonna go near the stairs!) I would have done some very loud yelling....but it makes my head hurt....

Can somebody explain what the companies who make cold/flu remedies are thinking when they print directions? I keep a couple of OTC medicines in the cabinet, but I seldom get sick, so it's not like I even look at the box more than once every couple of years......mostly I end up throwing away most of them because they expire before I need them again....but there I stood, weaving about, eyes runny, barely able to breath and now I have to try to see the instructions about dosage so I don't overdo it. It was like trying to read the encyclopedia on the head of a pin! Miles of tiny words of warning about not mixing this with that, following the dosage instructions, not operating heavy machinery (Yep...I'm barely able to stand up, so make sure to warn me about climbing onto the family backhoe lest I run over something!) but the info about how much of this magic potion I'm supposed to shove down my aching throat & how often to do it is buried in wrap-around words on the corner of the box.
I thought about turning on the bright make-up lights so I could maybe see these pearls of wisdom a little better, but that much extra light just makes my eyes water even more.
Then the fun of actually getting the pills out of those little individual packets......I'm SICK & lucky to have even found the stupid box they came in & you expect me to figure out how to open by bending on the notch & tearing on the dotted line....I can't even SEE the notch or the dotted line & don't have the strength to tear off toilet paper, but you want me to tear open this plastic that is strong enough to build a bomb shelter!!! GET REAL! I sure hope the scissors I resorted to aren't considered heavy machinery......can I get a ticket for that?
The bad part of taking medicine that gets rid of nasty symptoms is that then you feel better.....seems like a good thing, but it's not.....really. Hunger returns & just enough energy to make you think you can stumble into the kitchen & fix something to eat. This is a mistake because you will grab the easiest thing within reach & attempt to stuff it past your sore throat....and probably manage since you've only been drinking water for the last three days. Within 5 minutes you will be dashing for the bathroom....again. And the kitties will try to beat you there....again. And you will be cleaning what missed the toilet off the floor....again. And you will be changing your underwear for the 10th time today.
You will lose 10 pounds in about 4 days, but as soon as the worst passes & you finally manage to keep food in your system for more than 15 minutes, you will gain it all back in 2 days. You will finally manage to drag yourself out to the store & refill the kittie food supply and have a two day relapse.....

sick......sucks......sigh......

Yetch

sick sucks..........sigh......

Camp Run-A-Muck

I was doing a newsletter to my family in friends when I first moved into my cabin & the following is one of them that most got a laugh out of.

Well it's been an interesting week here at the Shady Rest version of Camp-Run-A-Muck. The weather was exciting....pouring down rain which collapsed one of the steel ceiling panels in the lower carport...dumping about 30 pounds of dead leaves, rust, slime & Lord knows what all over the carport floor & up the walls. Fortunately I was standing right INSIDE the doors as it happened instead of outside under that panel where I usually hang out to smoke a cigarette. I'll be calling someone this week to see about having the dangling participant & the rest of his leaking friends removed before any further mutiny can occur. Since the deck needs replacing anyway before it joins the rest of the "revolt of 2005" I'll be checking on that price at the same time......figuring that will be a sizable dent in the "I'm not going back to work until after winter" fund!

Every morning for the last week I've woken to temps in the low 20's & been treated to frost covering everything & any container holding water was at the least frozen over....plant containers, pet water bowls, rain barrel, any gutters that hadn't drained all the way. I found out very quickly about how slippery wood can be when it's got ice on it! (note to self: it is NOT really necessary to walk across the deck to straighten the flag at that hour of the morning!) The panic prone weather people are predicting the possiblity of snow flurries this coming week....we shall see.

On Friday afternoon-ish I finally drug my lazy tush down the hill to the mailbox to retreive the morning paper & get the mail...heard a rustle in the leaves to my right & looked up to see a beautiful buck strolling along the hill! I froze & he calmly jumped the practically invisible fence onto my property, pranced around the yard, investigated pretty much the entire place & exited out the hill behind the house...headed towards town & perhaps a late lunch date with Bambi's younger sister. So I've now had my first official live deer on my property sighting & I guess I'll see if there is someplace around town to buy a salt lick to encourage his return during the winter. Still no sign of anything else except birds & squirrels....haven't seen the fox again either.

I hitched the little trailer to my car yesterday morning & went to Sparta to pick up the dresser I'd bagged last week at Froggy Donna's "I'm getting new stuff, see anything ya want before I donate it??" indoor yard sale. Had some moments of anxiety over anybody who was getting ready to turn behind me as I passed...terrified they wouldn't see the trailer and run into it by turning too soon.

Now for the fun parts...before I even left the old homestead I stopped for the mail at the bottom of the hill....good thing 'cause that's when I realized I'd fogotten to toss the hand truck on the trailer...so it was trudge back up on foot & wheel it down, then try to tie it into the trailer since there's no back gate to keep it from flying out. It had been soooo long since I used the tie downs from the canoe that for the life of me I couldn't remember how to use the tensioners....in fairness to moi...it WAS a different approach than what I was used to....horizontal instead of vertical tension. Finally I just ended up tying knots & crossing my fingers. Got to Donna's in about 30 minutes & pulled onto her driveway & attempted to back the trailer STRAIGHT up to the garage for ease of loading but ended up on some kind of angle that was still ok. (pay attention here....this has further implications later!

Her son arrived from Ohio (he was picking up a dryer from that same "yard sale") and the 3 of us got the dresser on my trailer & he managed to work out the tensioner Chinese puzzle & get it, the hand truck & padding all lashed down nice & tight....Hurray, good to go! I hung out with them for a while, chatting & helping him load the dryer & put up her storm doors. Her son mentioned how tricky it was trying to back up those little trailers.....Then it was off for home before it got dark. Whizzing down the highway at the required, brisk 65 mph & I notice the pads covering my precious cargo seem to be flapping off to one side...stop the car...get out....yep it's come loose a bit, get that fixed & procede at a sedate 50-55mph to avoid the probability of it loosening again & wrapping itself around a trailer axle or some other disaster.

I arrive home & take notice that the "he" man is home at the bottom of the hill & wonder if I should stop & beg for help to unload the dresser, but decide if I take all the drawers out I should be able to handle it....so I continue on up & up & up the driveway....(obviously this is going somewhere!)...I pull straight into the upper carport & sure enough, I'm able to manage the dresser by myself....good for me!! After congratulating myself profusely for the accomplishment, I now decide to go out & back the trailer down the driveway & install it in the lower carport...it's usual happy home. Backing straight out of the carport & I'm looking to see when I need to start to turn the wheel to make the trailer curve around to the left & I hear a clunk!!! I look into the other side mirror & see the trailer is SIDEWAYS up against the ditch & has smacked the back of the car (no damage done) so I say "hmmmm" to myself & pull back into the carport again & start over....watching BOTH sides this time....not like it mattered, 'cause whichever way I turned the wheel the trailer kept going back to the ditch! After about 15 minutes of sheer frustration I decided the Hell with it, I'll just un-hook it from the car & wheel it down by hand. Welllll.....that 'little" trailer weighs a couple hundred pounds...& the driveway is steep right there....and as I started to back it up I quickly realized that gravity was gonna suck big time & probably drag me down with it. So I did the other choice & decided to try it with me in front, leading the way....that situation started to deteriorate VERY quickly so I dropped the tongue thinking to take a moment to figure this out. But that was just enough weight leaning downhill for the "trailer from Hell" personality to take over. The front edge of the box clipped a rather nasty blow to the back of my left thigh...sending me face & hands first onto the grass between it & the log wall. Of course I landed mostly on my right knee...you know...the one that is almost healed from the last little lawn debacle...have a nice bruise there now...but I digress....back to the process gone berserk.

As thoughts of a broken leg or being squished & trapped between the trailer & the logs flashed thru my head, the pull of gravity forced the altering of the flight path so my little culprit was now facing more perfectly for the next phase of it's escape....fortunately away from me! It sped down the rest of the driveway, breaking the speed of sound...or else that was the sound of my last nerve shattering, could have been either one! As I rose from the ground & stared in horror, wondering what it was going to hit, the call of yet another ditch took over the flight plan & sure enough, with a rather resounding clunk, clank & thunk, the trailer from Hell went flying into the drainage ditch at the bottom of my hill! I limped forward, following the cleared path & marveling at the scatches in the driveway and across the lawn.

Feeling the back of my leg was kind of achy, I reached down & discovered there was now a rather obvious rip in my jeans & a somewhat painful spot to correspond with it...but I didn't feel any blood, so just kept going. I stood for about 2 seconds gazing at the forelorn sight of the wild thing...tongue plowed into the side of the ditch & tilted at about a 90 degree angle...had another "hmmmm, now what do I do?" moment. Then continued the rest of the way down the hill to the still at home "he" man. I tapped gently on the door & Darryl listened to my pleas for help with a little smile on his face....took me a while to figure out just why he was smiling. He gathered up the 2 boys wrestling on the floor & piled them into his truck & proceded up the hill with me limping along side. (I figured I wasn't gonna be able to sit down quite right anyway, so might as well walk!) He & the 2 boys man-handled the little bastard out of the ditch & wheeled it back UP the hill & into the carport where it belongs. As I thanked him profusely he said think nothing of it....he's had to do the same thing about 5-6 times before. Seems when his sister lived in this house something was always getting out of control & flying down the hill, once it was the car with her hanging half out of it at the time! Guess that explains the little smile! Then we had the discussion about why they worked so hard to PUSH the thing back uphill & he said "well...those little trailers are just about impossible to back up straight....seem to have a mind of their own & just go whichever way they feel like!" NOW he tells me!

I got up a couple of times during the night last night....getting out of bed was kinda "hurtful" on that left leg...and I just kinda generally ache all over..wandered down to the carport this morning & checked out my "runaway" & noticed a big clump of red dirt still clinging to it's snout...reached down & felt the bruise on my right knee...and the 2 BIG lumpy bruises on my left thigh & the one long scratch that goes with the hole in my jeans....and thought to myself...serves ya right ya bastard....I'll just leave that clump there to remind you what happens to bad boys who try to run away from home!

Wonder if I can get a bid on this thing from eBay...but I'd have to be honest & say only bid if you never need to back up!!
On a happier note....I survived!! And my reward came in this morning's paper...if you remember, I was bemoaning the fact that the local Shoney's had closed up, taking it's breakfast buffet with it...my little Sunday morning treat. In the online version of my paper...there it was in big bold headlines....RYAN'S HAS OPENED A BREAKFAST BUFFET!! It took me about 1 minute to get dressed, jump in the car & beat a path to their door. All's right with the world! Well.....as long as ya don't count that I currently have some difficulty sitting down on anything that isn't well cushioned....unfortunately, this includes the toilet!
Stay tuned for the next exciting newsletter from Camp-Run-A-Muck!!!

Chocolate!

I posted this a few years ago on one of my forums & decided to move it here so it won't get lost. It was right around Easter when I divulged my secret passion!

I hate this time of year! Can't go to Wally World until at least a week after Easter or those damn Snickers Eggs will scream for me sooooooo loud! I have to drive by there on my way home & I can hear their voices from a block away. If I could just buy one box (has 3 or 4 eggs in it, about the eqivalent of 1 regular sized snickers bar, but oh so much creamier in the middle!) I might be ok, but I seem to buy 5 or 10 boxes at a time. The resulting "crowd roar" effect wakes me out of a sound sleep to raid the closet in the middle of the night, causes me to race home....just knowing they are waiting for me....running lights, blasting innocent pedestrians with my horn, screaming if that doesn't move them fast enough. Flinging myself out of the car before it rolls completely to a stop, I lunge wildly thru the door, scattering cats in all directions, skipping my usual dash for the bathroom, I break the sound barrier making it to the kitchen cabinet. In the hopes of quieting the voices screaming in my head, I unwrap the precious gem & pop the whole ping-pong ball sized goody in my mouth, while unwrapping the next one....and the next...and the next...
A half hour later I sit with strips of foil paper surrounding me like confetti from a hero's welcome home parade, heady from the rush of sweetness, finally remembering that I "skipped the bathroom" on the way in. Situation approaching critical, I bolt, flinging clothes in every direction, fully aware that after the orgy I've just allowed myself, they will probably not fit my body again in this lifetime. Mission accomplished I get myself under control, head back to the kitchen to destroy the evidence, only to be greeted by the closet shelf, now empty of it's burden of delights. It looks so barren......Wally World IS open 24 hours...............where are my fat clothes, I HAVE to go to the store now!

(As you can tell from this....I have very little self control when it comes to chocolate!)

Lawn care...I don't care!

The lawn hasn't been mowed in ages! I have good excuses tho....first it was a bike trip to visit with friends in Chattanooga, then right after I got back I twisted my ankle when I stepped down from my bathroom & had to sit with my foot up for two days before I could even think about walking more than a few feet at a time. Heck, I didn't even manage to make it down stairs to the computer, and couldn't drive my car with the clutch needing input from the damaged foot.
The following week I spent two days riding with some friends over at the Dragon in N. Carolina & East Tennessee, so what with getting ready to go & winding down afterwards a couple more days managed to slip away. Throw in a few sprinkles of rain & last week I helped a friend who is preparing to go full time RV'ing.....well, the household chores have just kind of taken a back burner lately.
But yesterday was decently cool & the weatherman promised rain for later in the day and since the back yard weeds were tall enough to provide cover for the deer population & the front yard had grass that could now hide a large dog that belongs to my neighbor. First I had to climb on the roof & drag about 100 pounds of leaves from the gutters since the last time it rained it looked like several versions of Niagra Falls & I wanted to run over the leaves instead of raking them up. When the heck did I become afraid of heights? I was hanging onto the shingles with a major case of butt-pucker, sure that my life was about to flash before my eyes as I crashed to the ground. I was lucky...this time. So finally I bit the bullet & started up the self propelled mower.
Self-propelled is nice if you have a level lawn, but my back yard is full of dips & on a severe partial slope which is why I don't take the ride-on up there much. It's just too scary! There are also some tree stumps cleverly hidden amongst the weeds, so it's a bit like playing a pinball machine....you're either bouncing off things, getting stuck in holes, only to be richocheted out in some uncontrolled direction when the power wheels hit bottom, or losing total control when the slope starts applying gravity to the mix. It was quite a workout for my bad knee & not completely healed ankle. I kept praying for it to rain so I could call it a day, but nooooo!
So now it's time for the front yard, yet another challenging slope with a few trees to dodge around, a rock lined ditch to not fall into & a ride-on mower that kills the engine if you attempt to back up with the blades running. I'm sure that is a safety factor of some kind, along with the kill switch that goes into action if your butt comes off the seat, but it can make things kind of awkward when you have no choice but to ride across the slope with your tushie hangin off the uphill side to keep the thing from rolling over on top of you.
My property is about 1 1/2 acres & about half of it is a bit heavily wooded, so that means lots of tree limbs & branches find their way to the ground. This translates into a choice of running over the small ones & deciding if that one right in front of you is small enough, or stopping the mower to get off & move the risky ones out of the way. My mower is a bit shy on the ammenities & luxuries....no cup holder, no automatic shifting & you have to operate 3 different levers plus a clutch to keep things moving. Maybe that explains the reluctance to keep climbing on & off to keep from running things over.
I usually just keep on plugging away & the sound of little branches being chopped up must make my neighbors think I have some kind of bush hog on a rampage. They should be sitting on top of it when this happens!
The real challenge this time was trying to keep the thing from sliding sideways in all that long grass. Not much of a problem once you get used to it, but the first few times around it can be pretty un-nerving when it slips down a foot while your butt is hanging off the uphill side!
It took me a bunch of hours to get the job done yesterday....had to keep running over large patches of places that wouldn't cooperate on the first pass....the penalty for letting it get so long is that the mower just kind of lays the grass down & the blades can't get a good whack at it. Then I had to keep running over the big piles of cut grass to mulch them up more so it didn't just lay there & kill whatever was under it.
It looks nice today when I sit on the front porch or look out the back window. But I have hives all over my hands & wrists....and they are the itchy kind! My knee is killing me & the sore ankle is threatening to swell up again. My back has also joined the list of ailments, I have a blister on my knuckle that defies any explanation of origin...and it's seems to be headed for infection. AND IT NEVER RAINED A DROP!! So now all that thatch is looking like 1000 bird's nests exploded all over the place. It's supposed to rain today & tomorrow but nothing yet. Is it tomorrow yet???

So, here I am. My first foray into the community of bloggers. This should be interesting since I'm unbelievably computer challenged. I'll probably turn this into spaghetti before it's even off the first page so watch out for flying sauce!

I've just gotten so wrapped up in reading other blogs that I had to give it a try myself.....some of them are so good that I find myself glued to the chair while I read everything posted by certain bloggers.....try going into the bathroom with a desk chair as an appendage sometime! Having let everything resembling housework fall off my "to do" list so I can read blogs is starting to result in lots of fun things for my kitties to play with, so there are now five very happy creatures running rampant. The parrot isn't quite as happy.....he must miss my kitchen visits since screaming from his cage upstairs has become more frequent of late.

Has anyone figured a way to claim pets as dependents on income tax yet? It's becoming more obvious to me all the time that I only purchased this house to have a place for the critters to gather for meals, take naps and demand attention. And word seems to have permeated the neighborhood...I can tell because I moved here with four cats and a parrot, one cat disappeared during my first year and one cat died at the beginning of the second, but I'm still feeding 5 cats in the house and at least one more outside. If I hadn't had all of them "fixed" I could probably blame it on them breeding with the dust bunnies.....I tried vacuuming one of those up one day but it turned out to be one of the cats!

In truth, I love my critters but there are times when I question my sanity......well.....I would question it if I thought I was ever sane in the first place......but back to the subject.....Woodstock is a blue-fronted Amazon and he is the one that makes the house rules....when you will be getting up is completely up to him. It's possible he was a rooster in another life since the sunrise requires that he let anyone within a city block be informed of that momentous occasion.....at the top of his lungs and trust me, you will get up! The alternative being the loss of most of your hearing. He also controls how often the kitchen floor will be swept....possesing an advanced talent for seed flinging means that at least a pound of his kibble manages to find it's way to pretty much every square inch of the floor, so it's sweep or listen to it crunch under your feet at sunrise before you can even find the coffee pot....and I'm much more of a night person, so he wins that one. In a desperate attempt to let nature take it's course, I occasionaly will let him out of the cage, thinking that the cats will solve the problem. But they must have worked out a deal, since that results in him attacking them while they run for their lives. Aren't birds supposed to be afraid of cats??? Personally, I think it's all a performance....he gives them feathers to play with, let's them lie on top of his cage & he makes sure I get up early to feed them before they waste away to blobs of fur.

Maybe by the next time I get around to playing with this blog thingy I will have figured out how to post a picture. Not exactly sure when that's gonna be......is it tomorrow yet??